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VIOLENT YOUTH

There is a violent side to humanity. Lets not deny that. Lets find a way for it to be vented by our society without killing each other or letting it ruin the football.

In Canada, fighting is part of Hockey; in the rink, generally not in the stands. In Thailand it is much deeper in their culture. The Thai people's national sport is boxing. "Muay Thai" as it is known to the world. Although the contest is held in a ring, and the participants wear boxing gloves, it is much more martial art meets religious ceremony than a Las Vegas style bout. For those who haven't seen it, flying knees and elbows, as well as devastating kicks will give you an idea these are some of the most ferocious fighters in the world.

The origins of Thai boxing are lost to prehistory. What we are sure of is its influence on the entire population. The Thai people are known for being gentle and kind spirited; sure extremists exist, but consider the population is in excess of 60 million. If there is any indication of people getting heated, it will be immediately suggested they 'take it into the ring'. There is a place for fighting, and it is not in the street, in bars or at sports games.

In addition to the large boxing stadiums, (which are an amazing experience, I'll personally recommend), there are many community rings available for settling local disputes, or for burning off steam. The lesson doesn't stop at ridding oneself of aggression through a series of rapidly executed blows; the discipline, self-control, self-knowledge and respect learned in training have become very much a part of the Thai psyche. All Thai military and police, (which there isn't really much of a line between), train in the sport. Everyone from commoner to King has competed in the ring. The story of King Chao Sua who dressed as a peasant, fought and won, is a favourite legend.

Modern Thai Boxing has added gloves, weight classes and timed bouts. This has been done in order to keep the number of fatalities in the ring to a minimum. However, it is a vicious sport and nearly every year somebody gets killed.

I'm not suggesting we put machete wielding combatants into a cage to see who's the last one standing. But, I'd like to see some form of one-on-one physical contest become part of Bermuda culture. Great respect to the victor. Great shame to anyone who wants to play tough outside of that forum.

There is a lot of interest in the Ultimate Fighting Championship since the TV show popularized it. We could look at bringing the Octagon to the island.

Who knows, maybe even Premier Scott and TonyB could finally settle their differences in the time-honoured way.

Handicapped scooters

Hadicapped scooters

With plenty of other parking available, these bike were missing their blue sign.

Driving Test

Bermuda Department of Transport
Driving Test Part 1
Written Test

Instructions

The written test consists of twelve multiple-choice questions, each with four possible answers. Read each question carefully and mark your answer carefully with a cross in the corresponding box on the answer sheet provided (Form T841.2b). You have thirty minutes to complete the test, not including calls to your aunty, cousins and kindergarten teacher.

1. When approaching a roundabout, you should give way:

a. Never
b. What’s a roundabout?
c. To traffic to your right
d. Only if you are an ex-pat

2. Bermuda’s blood alcohol limit is:

a. Half-hot
b. Full-hot
c. A myth
d. 0.08 mg/100 ml, enforced efficiently by a team of law enforcement professionals

3. When driving along Front Street on Friday afternoon, the driver in front uses her left indicator. This means she is going:

a. Up de road
b. Down de road
c. Across de road
d. What’s an indicator anyway?

4. The best place to park in the city of Hamilton is:

a. The middle of Reid Street
b. The right hand lane of Queen Street
c. Blocking any chosen intersection
d. Any convenient bus lane

5. The best place to park out of town is:

a. On a blind corner
b. Anywhere marked with a solid yellow line
c. The crest of a hill
d. All of the above, simultaneously, with bonus points for causing tailbacks

6. When approaching a red traffic light, you should:

a. Accelerate through the intersection as quickly as possible
b. Enter the intersection before pausing to talk to your aunty
c. Execute a u-turn, you didn’t want to go that direction anyway
d. Ignore it – red just isn’t your colour

7. The speed limit in Bermuda is:

a. 35 Km/h
b. As fast as you can go without crashing into a wall
c. And the crashing part is optional
d. There's a speed limit?

8. A stop sign is:

a. For expats
b. Purely decorative
c. A sign to be obeyed at all times
d. A place where it is convenient to pause for a chat with Aunty

9. When a traffic officer raises his hand, palm facing towards you, it means:

a. You’re his aunty
b. He thinks you’re his aunty
c. He’s stretching his muscles after writing all those parking tickets
d. You must stop

10. Your mirrors should be used:

a. When applying lipstick
b. For checking out the pretty girl you just passed
c. To judge distance from the car in the next lane
d. Before any manoeuvre

11. When riding a scooter, a helmet is:

a. A mandatory piece of safety equipment
b. A fashion accessory
c. Useful for holding your flip-phone in place
d. Optional

12. In Bermuda we drive on:

a. The left
b. The right
c. Wherever we want
d. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it’s racist

Please check your answers and stand in line for a minimum of three hours before returning them to the friendly TCD assistant. Failure to wish the assistant good afternoon will render your test invalid. Have a nice day.

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