BIBA BLAMES CRICKET FOR DROP IN QUALIFIED IB GRADUATES*

After a summer of immense sporting success on the world stage, its no surprise that Bermuda’s sporting heroes have been inspiring a new generation to tear themselves away from their X-Boxes in favour of bat and ball. The real shock though, says BIBA, is the effect that soaring world rankings are having in the business world. In a shock survey by Shonky Research Ltd, more than 81 percent of high school students said they’d prefer to follow in the footsteps of Shane Warne and Brian Lara (famous cricket types) than to become accountants. With an $11 million sweetener announced by government this week, more and more teenagers see cricket as a lucrative career opportunity.

"Hard though it is to believe, there’s a perception that a position at silly mid-on or in the slips** is more desirable than a position in auditing or management accounting," commented BIBA representative Marcus Dullard. "We can usually count on greed to lure youngsters into even the most mind-numbing and soul-destroying of corporate jobs. Now that cricketers are able to earn similarly stupid amounts, we can’t compete."

Fame is also seen as a motivator: after all, says Dullard, the only famous accountants and CFOs are those ending up in prison.

Antony Robertson, a grade 11 Cedarbridge student, is just one youngster to discard his calculator and spend his study time perfecting the fine art of the googly. "Cricket is almost as dull as accounting," says Antony, "But there are lots of confused and deranged women who find cricketers glamorous. Number crunchers just don’t get the girls."

In a related issue, it has emerged that a number of health problems have emerged among cricket fans. Especially concerning is the apparent link between watching test matches and the early onset of rigor mortis. Doctors are recommending that viewers alternate cricket with something more exciting like watching paint dry or reading the telephone directory to ensure that they don’t die of boredom.

*Yep, completely fabricated (except the bit about boredom)
**These really are cricketing terms apparently.

Comments

[LG]

Cricket isn't all that boring, not off the field that is! As a sports cond. trainer/physio for cricket in another country, I was in Ireland when your boys qualified. Give em some credit. They worked hard in all sorts of ways! Hmmn, money in cricket, in Bermuda? Whose kidding who? You think that 11m. goes on wages? And as for someone wanting to be the next Shayne Warne? Poor demented child.... :-)One thing though, being a 'player' on tour is not all bad it seems. As the only female being amongst 250+ cricketers on a tour...lets just say this, I witnessed how hard they play! From the words of a couple of Bermudians:What goes on tour, stays on tour. And to those girls who find cricketers facinating? Be prepared to SHARE them around! :-)

[Bay 13]

Well, OK, at the MCG its an excuse for 5 straight days of drinking (3 to beat the poms and 2 to celebrate).

As for Warney, his problems with text messages must surely make him a future premier.

Still, $11 million...

[LG]

Ha! Ha! You think Warney stuck to text messages only??? ...which probably makes him an even better candidate for greater things to come. Or more *interesting* things at least!

As some would also say, it all adds to game ;-)

As for 11 million, I think it's great that a country wants to invest in cricket, but I am biased of course. And jealous. Where I am, we are struggling to keep cricket alive & need to import 'coach/players' who actually are there to win the tournament for certain clubs & to make it look as though cricket is alive & kicking. But hey, at least I get to see one or two reasonable players in action each year.
:-)

[Russell Richardson]

The persons that wrot the article and responded must have blinder on as they can only see the bad in cricket.
Talk about Sir. Donald, Sir. Gary, Sir Viv and see what cricket has done for them and their families.

[LG]

RR, Hey just trying to point out that if one cannot appreciate what goes on field,(it does take some intelligence y'know:-), then one can appreciate what goes on off field & around it.

For those who think cricket is dead & dreary? Seems like you wont have a choice but to like it with the cash they are pumping into it! It will be ramed down your throats. But don't worry...cricket does grow on you.

BTW Waugh's surely to be next in line on your 'Sir' list of legends.